“Life’s okay.” You say staring down a quarter century of existence. Life’s okay except the fear of rejection, failure, and disappointing anyone.
Life’s fine except you go to a job every morning that you know is not where you need to be. Where you stand in the back room at 6 AM, fighting back what might be tears. The place where people treat you like less than because “the customer is always right.” Where, for most the time, people are courteous. Your coworkers care about your life. It’s easy enough. But the others start to get to you. Make you actually feel like you’re less than. Where you’re not supposed to be.
You’ve had a taste of what you want to do and every day you’re not, drags on. It makes you feel like a failure. It makes you anxious.
And you get in your car. Come home. Tell some friends. And they all support you.
You don’t want to bother anyone.
But they want to hear your problems.
But you have the same problems you did before.
You’re still afraid.
Previous problems create fear.
And you find yourself standing in front of a girl who you’re absolutely enamored with. You think she’s smart and funny. You think she’s cute. And even if you had the courage to say anything, who’s to say it would work out. She lives far enough away where it feels like an unending plain.
But you keep going. And maybe you keep quiet. Because the end of this chapter has to be soon.